it’s wednesday - also known as hump day - & you’ve made it to the middle of the week. congrats! you get a giant hug from giantmonster! relax & enjoy!! it’ll all be over soon (the week and the hug).
Archive for the 'oddities' Category
Walmart Employee: “Hello ‘dis Walmarts, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.”
Walmart Employee: “What you want on the cake?”
Customer: “Best Wishes Suzanne” and underneath that “We will miss you”.
so, um, yeah - here’s your cake …
According to the International Programs Center, U.S. Census Bureau, the total population of the World will hit 6,666,666,666 people on may 10th, 2008. that’s tomorrow!! go breeders! that’s six billion, six hundred and sixty six million, six hundred and sixty six thousand, six hundred and sixty six people (please do correct me if i’m wrong on reading that number). right now as i type this at 01:31 GMT (EST+5) the world population is at a projected 6,666,648,651 people!!! wow. oddly, my car is about to hit the 66,666 mile mark too. awesome!
it’s friday and list-of-the-day has an excellent post archiving the fine art of photobombing - the act of inserting yourself into someone else’s picture. very good stuff. i can only hope to see more of these. much much more.
something to be said for taking the stairs. here’s a nightmare of a story about a man named nicholas white who was trapped in an elevator for 41 hours. no joke! 41 continuous hours!!! damn! poor guy! the elevator security cameras captured the entire ordeal. watch the time lapse video below and see almost 2 days pass before your eyes in under a few minutes.
neato! this slow motion vid clip totally makes me wanna slap someones face! oy! i had no idea getting slapped could look so cool. squaaaash!!! thanks jamie!
sexy is so many things.: security - with just a dash of daring, confidence - with a just brief hint of vulnerability, raw power - with a scant wiff of innocence, sharing, eye contact, charm, interesting hobbies, music, and yes, perhaps black speedos too? is that possible? yes, all of those things! it’s friday and we know sexy when we see it. yup. extra additional hotness on the fail blog too.
sometimes reading a good/funny review of an incredibly bad & god-awful movie can actually make you want to take time out of your life and watch that aforementioned awful movie. case in point, the wretched movie roadhouse is reviewed by iamsheamus in such a way that i now find myself bumping up Roadhouse to the top of my netflix que. having seen roadhouse once too many times before, i remember this being a less than pivotal role for patrick swayze. i also distinctly remember mentally labeling roadhouse with the phrase ‘never ever again.’ yet thanks to iamsheamus, i’m ready to immerse myself in the mullet-fueled lameness that is Roadhouse. ugh! read the magic and find out for yourself. trailer below for your, um, horror. thanks iamsheamus!
my friend james cotner is no stranger to awesomeness. in keeping with this trend, mr. cotner, channeling the awkward power of garey busey, has landed the coveted role of FBI agent Angelo Pappas in the mighty play Point Break Live. according to sfgate, point break live is not to be missed! so check it, brah! now! it’s playing at Xenodrome in san francisco this April 11th, 12th, 18th, 19th, 25th, & 26th. buy tickets via theatermania, dude! surf’s totally up! way to go james!
mr t hasn’t got time for comas. actually he does, in the sense that he once brought a kid out of coma. true! quoting the news article titled Mr T brought boy out of coma: Former The A-Team star Mr. T once stunned a sick child’s family by bringing him out of a coma - after doctors begged the actor for help. The poorly kid fell unconscious in Detroit, Michigan in the mid-1980s - and the only physical movement he made was in response to hearing Mr. T’s name. rad!
this is how i’m feeling right now: my loony bun is fine benny lava. yeah, you know it. i hope your sunday is half as awesome as this video clip and it’s phonics based subtitles! just keep dancing …
for spring break week, it’s taxidermy gone wild! yes, monday morning bringeth the beaver jokes with the most awesome beaver case mod ever (maybe the only beaver case mod ever). built by kasey mcmahon. for steaming PC action, check out the specs on that hot beaver too! a very nice beaver at that! some pics of the amazing project below. awesome job kasey! i think i love you!
so maybe you’re going out to a club this weekend. yeah? need some awesome moves? really awesome? then you got ‘em! here’s the official freshness on rave dancing from sweden called stampa med leroy. double yeah! at 1:42 i find hurt & myself rather upset that leroy is revealing my signature move titled ‘wash the laundry.’ dag-nabbit! i recommend letting the video fully load and then skipping right to 4:23 for the sweet sweet dessert that is leroy’s ultimate rave dance showcase demo! it’s quite a feast. good stuff. now go dancing!
you’re supposed to be wearing green when you read this. it’s saint patrick’s day today, so have a happy one.
it’s friday, and is that bike you’ve parked on the street secure? not sure? if you have any doubts, then you need the hot new cheek lock invented in the giantmonster labs. yes! all security systems pale in comparison to this awesome new bike lock. never wonder or worry about where you’ve parked your bike again. totally! order one today.
taking the art of dining to new and savory heights comes this clip from a japanese game show with pointers on the proper way to eat marshmellows. can it be done any other way? i don’t think so. side note: with the competing teams in this video wearing red and blue outfits, i can’t help think of US politics and that someday this is how our elections will be decided. awesome! thanks jamie for the clip!
finally, a non-lethal weapon that is fun at parties too! introducing the LED Incapacitator, a flashlight-like device that emits a nauseating strobe light to the effect of making its targets throw up. that is correct: we have a barf gun! point this flashlight in the face of an attacker - or even a friendly work acquaintance or loved one - and the blinding light combined with the continuously changing colors and pulses of the LED capacitator will make them temporarily sick and vomit! great for parties, boring powerpopint presentations, and halloween. i’m ordering 4 right now!
do you sometimes attempt to feel slightly better about yourself by rejoicing in the embarrassment and/or failures of others? well, you are not alone. serving up slices of fail pie are these three photo blogs that will darken or brighten your day: the fail blog, shipment of fail, and doing it wrong. failing never felt so good.
it’s friday and giantmonster would like to provide a clear example of how to ruin a billboard. it’s simple, as seen in these pics from the las vegas mccarran international airport baggage claim area. just place the words ‘carrot top’ and ‘fantasy’ right next to each other. you look up and read ‘carrot top fantasy’ and your mind will almost immediately shut down. carrot top and fantasy are words that should NEVER be used in the same sentence, much less follow each other in the same sentence. yet in vegas, such horrors exist. why? so scary. you are warned. please travel safe! previous carrot top horrors unleashed here.
apparently word is getting around that clowns are creepy, and possibly even scary. a university of sheffield england study seen on the bbc news states that the majority of children find clown images too scary and that children find clown faces and imagery frightening and unknowable. yikes! perhaps if england had a decent child clown outlet like we do in the states, the thoughts of clowns wouldn’t be seen as so scary.
though it’s not coming to any victoria’s secret shop anytime soon, it does make smuggling contraband so much more exciting and sexy! yes, it’s the plunderbra - as in to plunder, steal, or loot (click the pic to the left for a more detailed image). very inventive & ingenius. this custom made bra was used to smuggle $195,540 (£100,000) of cocaine into Britain. special! one can only wonder of the undetected plunder brought in prior to the plunderbra’s final blunder. yes …
for those of you who have embarked or are embarking into the magical world of raising a baby, giantmonster salutes you. and we would like to help by pointing you in the direction of some very handy parenting flash cards. from c00lstuff.com comes the awesome do’s and don’ts with babies. print them out and paste them all over your house for quick reference. some of the guidelines are posted below. enjoy & happy parenting!
ladies & gentleman, from a radiographs photo set on flickr created by surfacant, i bring you the dildo. quoting the caption from the photo on flickr: What I do appreciate, though, are the patients who are in this situation and just get brutally honest with you. “I was getting off on this thing in my ass and it went too deep.” there you go. this makes me wonder if there is a hallmark card made for every occassion & special moment. yes, there has to be. thanks surfacant!
think you’ve got roller skating skills? how about limbo-skating? check out the article on daily mail titled the amazingly flexible boy, 6, who can limbo-skate under cars. it’s about aniket chindak, a boy in india who holds the unofficial world record for ‘limbo-skating.’ aniket is training to break his own world record of skating under 57 cars in 45 seconds.
update:
oh boy! now with video!
while the quest for an even more hi-res version continues, giantmonster would like to thank one of our 13 readers - 10nito - for sending in the larger and more complete image above of the very mighty & sought after star wars awesome poster previously posted on giantmonster. ps - the poster was originally created by hugh fleming. thanks 10nito!!
what doth life, you ask? well, sunday night november 4th at midnight on adult swim (and soon after, a bittorrent site near you), it’s highway to heaven meets wondershowzen meets billy jack meets jeff spicoli meets half-life with six-nipple goodness! yes, it’s xavier: renegade angel. the weirdness and humor of xavier renegade angel happens so fast that you’ll wake up ten years from now finally getting phrases and punchlines that were too clever and sophisticated for your limited 2007 brain to comprehend. so stock up on futuristic weirdness while you can! props to the kids at cinematico for all their hard work!
if you are like me, you’ve always wanted to give all your friends syphillis, maybe some HIV, a touch of black death, and even some athlete’s foot each & every holiday season. well now you finally can! the geniuses at GIANTmicrobes have created a plush line of just that - giant microbes! yes, there’s the flesh eating virus (with embroidered knife & fork!), gonorrhea, mad cow, and so much more! with marketing tag lines for their dolls such as scum that go “he may look like the scum of the earth, but once you cross paths he’s sure to grow on you” - how can you resist?
always good to read up on important news, especially when that important news is a possible bigfoot sighting in pennsylvania. yeah! check out the photo to the left. sure, you might be thinking ‘that’s a bear with a case of the mange doing push-ups’ or, you could be very alert and open-minded and think ‘finally, the sasquatches are coming down from the hills to destroy all of our computer equipment and set us free!’ i can always dream, can’t i? i’d better let blogfoot know about this.
meet my new hero. his name is paul addis. tuesday morning at 2:45am-ish he set the burning man effigy on fire (4 days before the scheduled burn) and was arrested and charged with arson. gotta love the irony! and great mugshot picture too! i think it’s officially time to form a new festival of radical self-expression. extensive coverage over at laughing squid. you can contribute to paul’s bail money fund over at freepauladdis.com. i picked a hell of a year to skip out.
combining over-hyped y2k fears with that classic good time christian feeling of the end of the world equals pure marketing genius!! yes it does. take a bit a doom, a bit of gloom, add lots of saccharin, and blend with the creamy, deeeeep voice of the cyborg announcer chuck ohman, and you’ve got the year 2000 time bomb! please watch and learn, ’cause it’s your last chance … WARNING: the magic vibrational voice of chuck ohman may actually lull you into buying something.